However high I climb [the mountain of Truth], a little Dog named Ego follows me
Friedrich Nietzsche
One of the first stories I remember my father telling me was: “Sometimes, the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac, lays awake at night, wondering if there really is a Dog”.
I am neither of those three things, yet I still lay awake some times, wondering the same thing; is there some benevolent creature that loves me unconditionally?
Is there some force that not only tolerates or acknowledges my existence, but that actually sees what I can be, and what I am, and already loves me, celebrates me authentically even, whilst guiding me to my greatest good? That sounds a bit too good to be true, but, I at least partially believe so:
on narcissistic days, I call it my higher self, and
on submissive days I call this force God,
on rationalistic days I call it the living intelligent force of the Universe in this present moment (based on what Max Planck said about “Mind is the Matrix of all Matter”), and
on feminine days, such as Fridays (named after the Goddess Freya) I call her
Mother Earth, Sophia, or simply, Mummy/ Mama.
I almost have a different word for each day of the week, now all I need is a colour.
Speaking of Mother… mine passed away last month, unexpectedly, it has been hard for my family and I, yet we love her so much and sense her presence, that we choose to be strong and, as the Queen also said “Carry on”!
In a way, I wish I’d carried on writing this journal, but I was unable to, grieving is simply hard and throws one off balance; one has to regain a new and greater balance, so that is what I’ve done… it can easily seem like a cliché, even a horrible platitude, but i truly mean it when I say: I deeply feel the presence of my dearly beloved mother, and she is what is giving me the strength to “carry on”… I know that she is with me in my quest to bring more peace and love to the world, to at least offer what I find enlightening, fun, deep and fulfilling, such as here, and God knows where, soon.
Recently, two grannies were standing at a tomb stone to pay homage to their dear friend, it had inscribed upon it “She’s gone to a better place”, the one granny said to the other “Yes, she always was a bit of a snob”. I suppose that’s the thing: I hope, and I pray, that she’s happier, and that she’s gone to a better place; to sing with the angels, not limited by her body anymore, with its pain and so on… it seems a bit strangely contradictory to hope AND pray, yet, “it is what it is”.
Alright no more jokes, even though they are great ways to tell stories and make them memorable, in fact, the pioneering linguistic philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein liked to say “You could write a philosophical book using only jokes, and still make a serious contribution”… Ah, woe to us who take ourselves too seriously, for as another not all too shallow thinker, Plato said: “The Gods too are fond of jokes”, woe to us because, taking oneself too seriously is indeed “woe”; it is suffering, and as Buddha said: “Life is suffering, but enlightenment is the cessation of suffering”, thus, i have worked out: enlightenment is the type of joke which does not have the negative side-effect of making oneself a sad-clown, namely; able to make everyone except one’s self laugh, because one is secretly sad in one’s heart.
I wonder if Buddha would say you can write a serious contribution to philosophy, and thus humanity, and thus to and for all of life, consisting entirely of quotes, or if he would say that’s downright plagiarism, stop it, be creative yourself, you lazy so and so… luckily he was less of a moralist and more of a, believe it or not, pragmatist, so I think he would say something practical like “do whatever you need to, to get the job done, mate”! (he wanted to enlighten the world, after all)!
Buddha, also, more accurately known as Siddhartha Gautama, a Prince of India (the modern day Nepalese region, as far as I know, before it was divided), was a soul who truly existed, if history books are to be trusted, Siddhartha achieved a certain state in his own life time; lasting bliss, permanent awakening to a higher state of… not thinking, but BEING. “Sat, Cit, Ananad“.
If My own personal life experience, and stringing together of history and linguistic Tid-Bits is worth anything to you, then I classify this as particularly valuable: “Buddha” is primarily a title, one consisting of two words, namely Bu and ddha, one which, in theory, anyone can attain at any time, it means beyond all thoughts, or “Above” and “Mind“, quite like the Greek word “Meta-Physical“, “Meta-Noia” or flashy English word “Super-Natural”, (wow, you’re looking really natural mate, i’d even say super) or even spooky phrase “Mind over Matter”. The honourable title S.G earned: Buddha, he was deemed worthy of in his own life time was can be translated, “one who rose forever above the mind” or, you could also call him “one who abides in pure presence” (un-blemished by myriad thoughts muddy colours; pure like a crystal), and apparently, that is a state we can all learn to live in, also, and I believe we are, both naturally through slow unconscious evolution, and also more quickly, through our own participation in the process.
Back to the main point: whatever we call the divine, and whichever category we put it in, if at all; It, Him or Her; Infinity, the Quantum Dimension, God, Yah-Way, Allah, Sophia, Mother Earth, the point is, “it” is a human universal experience, some fleeting contact with… something higher, a grander intelligence, the fact that billions of people, over the course of human history, have experienced… something… lends credence to it. Something that makes all our suffering seem bearable and more importantly meaningful, that’s all we need, in our deepest darkest moments.
Given that it is universal, it can perhaps be universally helpful, rather than…
something to bicker over and even murder each other for, for,
as Bruce Lee said “Under the sky we are all one family”, yet, when he was asked if he believed in A God, he said “to be perfectly frank, i really do not” .
So why have a God at all (if we even have a choice(Jesus… this is a lot of questions!))? I believe the human mind, or at the very least my mind, needs some kind of ultimate, absolute, thing or being, and it needs to put it in terms it can relate to: a god who cares, or once again, more humorously, a dog who cares, or at least, a supreme value, such as holiness, compassion, love, courage, generosity, which one cares about, (and hopes other people will care about, (for seeing one care about, and act about, if one truly, actually cares about it;)) a value, or all-inclusive/ encompassing being, by which to measure all our thoughts words and deeds, gives us a compass.
“Give me a strong enough why and I shall endure any how” as Nietzsche liked to put it, or rather, I had to look the quote up, the more exact version is “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how”… the tragedy of his, and many prior but especially subsequent generations was, as he put it so succinctly in the title of his book “God is Dead”, God no longer seemed to be the “why” for which people could live; the combined force of philosophy, science, and ironically, theology, dry to the bone, had “killed” God, (according to him) or at least… the sense of the divine which some (if not actually all?) humans seem to need like water, had evaporated.
Voltaire, actually answered this issue before Nietzsche’s work was ever published, not that Nietzsche phrased his title as a question, but let’s just pretend he did. Around 1750, I believe, with the words: “If God did not exist we’d have to invent him”, Voltaire penned a powerful line, this might seem cynical and atheistic at first glance, but if you contemplate it more deeply I think you’ll come to agree with it as much as I do, and see the beauty in it.
Why do I agree so much? Because, it reminds us with logic and the (un-ironic?) use of circular reasoning, of our own divinity; Voltaire points out that our heart mind and soul, sufficiently and collectively inspired, can forge something, which perhaps was, or perhaps wasn’t, already there, and send waves of inspiration down for centuries and Millennia to come, a stirring story about how our creativity can create whatever it needs; the how becomes the why becomes the how (: Why must I think of the Monty Python, and the joke which, upon hearing, everyone dies of laughter from?
Voltaire, like many daring thinkers, well, dared, many things, but particularly, he dared to venture out into the more abstract, mathematical, geometric regions, which can inspire great belief, awe, inspiration or great nihilism, apathy and dread, for as a profound genius said, oh no, drum roll, not another quote, yes, sorry, i’m handicapped in that fashion tonight, i can’t think without their assistance: “You can either view nothing as a miracle, or everything as one”, said Einstein on Life.
Depending on which side of the Miracle-Mundane / Yin-Yang we roll out of bed in the morning with, or, decide to embody in this moment, as my Yoga teachers would say (4 weeks till graduation at time of writing!) the other thing he, that daring fellow Voltaire, said about God, was,
not that he only said two things, but, the second thing he said that stuck with me, was:
“God is a circle who’s centre is everywhere and circumference no-where”.
This, say some, relates to the flower of life, and secret knowledge of geometry that is only now becoming wide-spread, as, in Plato’s, Buddha’s, Leonardo da Vinci’s and Voltaire’s times, this knowledge was too… weird, for the masses, who’s persecution was predictable, and warned of, even by such figures as Jesus, who said “throw not your pearls before swine”
You got this far, I suppose you deserve something of more permanent value which you can, as Lao Tzu says in the Tao, carry with you, like a jewel in your heart, wherever you go, so, here, I believe this is deeply valuable: in our Yoga Teacher training, we are learning, how, with the help of:
~Asanas (postures to aid the body in meditation)
~Mantras (Mind-liberating phrases)
~Pranayamas (Breath Techniques)
as well as ethical codes for living life (yamas & niyamas),
to rise to, or at least briefly experience, this level of “pure being, beyond mind”.
Which brings me to the main part of this article, the balance of opposites, and the truth that emerges from paradox; shiva and shakti, dog and god, life and the awareness of death, these are apparent opposites bound by different laws, but in the invisible unity between them, that is where life and wisdom are.
Perhaps, probably, yes, I should, definitely, most likely, get more professional at writing, and end this article, and make a second part, but, well, you see, I’m only human, and “Done is better than “Perfect” “, is a motto I have found helpful in escaping the paralyzing perfectionism one can be trapped in, if one compares what one could achieve in one’s wildest dreams, to what one can actually achieve in practical, day-by-day, basis. So here is part two of this article, all rolled into one:
I’ll simply add a little picture here for you to sort of bookmark your progress with reading this article, so you can restart your reading if you choose to return.
Hopefully, i’ll be able to turn all this into a book some day, I should like that, it’s been a dream for a while now, but somehow death no longer seems like an impossibility for myself, with my mother’s sudden passing.
Transcending the Ego: The Dance of God/ Shiva/ Consciousness
Zero… The are said to have invented the concept and the number 0, which is fitting here, surprisingly, for, even though Shiva is referred to as a Hero and a God, one translation of his name “Shivaya” means: “That which is not”, which is about as paradoxical as Socrates famous line “I am wise because I know that I do not know”
Next: God, by most definitions, is inherently unlimited, so, in order to transcend the “trap” of the limited ego, in theory, all we have to do is align with that… thing, that… intelligence, that… energy, frequency, spirit, principle or being, but, we probably have to work out which one of those it is first, or at least find a way to put it into practice, even if we can’t name it.
In the vast tapestry of Hindu mythology, Shiva stands as a symbol of transformation, destruction, and ultimately, transcendence, in the west, we usually think of destruction as something bad, but there can be no meaningful change without change, and change requires breaking down current forms to remake them. His cosmic dance, the Tandava, represents the eternal cycle of creation and dissolution, a dance that extends beyond the physical realm into the depths of spiritual awakening (such as when you realize everything, including your own body, is really a frequency, vibrating away!). In this journey of transcendence, we find parallels in the practice of yoga, particularly in poses like Nataraja (The dancer’s pose) and Downward-Facing Dog (Adho Mukkha Svanasana), where the body and mind align to reach a higher state of consciousnes (they have to, in order for us to keep the pose). Shiva, often depicted as Nataraja, the Lord of Dance, performs the Tandava in the cosmic rhythm of time and space (a rhythm we find hard to perceive… a planetary rhythm, yet one which is also mirrored within our daily lives and even on a microscopic level, thanks to the holographic and fractal pattern of the universe). This dance represents the endless interplay of creation, preservation, and destruction—a cycle essential for the evolution of the universe. Shiva’s dance teaches us that embracing change, letting go of the old, and surrendering to the cosmic flow are integral aspects of well, everything! One of the key lessons from Shiva’s dance is the transcendence of the inner dog/ ego/ lower self, the sense of individuality that often blinds us to the inter-connectedness of all existence. In yogic philosophy, the ego is seen as a barrier to self-realization, a knot, a veil, a trial to be surpassed (all things that separate us from gods such as Shiva and Krishna, and more importantly their states of consciousness, which can imbue our lives with redeeming, real, transcend qualities, no matter how hard, dark, sad and dreary, (trust me, i used to suffer from clinical depression)Practices such as meditation and asana help us move beyond its limitations. Downward-Facing Dog Pose, or Adho Mukha Svanasana, serves as a physical and symbolic representation of this journey; overcoming our own dog like aspects. As we ground our palms and feet into the earth, hips lifted towards the sky, the body assumes the shape of an inverted V, we acknowledge that we still have work to do! In these poses, we can experience a simultaneous connection to both the grounding energy of the earth and the expansive energy of the cosmos.
I decided to play with words a bit to help make this shorter and hopefully this art tickle more memorable: exploring the (sometimes subtle) connections between the ego and various elements of life:
Ego and Geo (Earth): The ego often ties us to material concerns, but by grounding and centering ourselves, we find a connection to the Earth, understanding that our individuality is just a small part of the greater whole.
Ego and Dog: In Downward-Facing Dog, the body mimics the stretch of a contented dog. By embracing simplicity and humility, we release the grip of the ego, allowing us to approach life with a more open heart, we see God as the Master of our Ego, the same way we see a Dog as merely one animal of many, part of life, but not the supreme ruler (as our ego’s might convince us! If we allow them to run away!) Ego and God: Transcending the ego brings us inextricably closer to the divine (that’s the whole purpose of it! When we do it in a healthy, structured way), recognizing that the spark of the divine resides within each of us, becomes a natural, day to day phenomena. In the dance of Shiva and the practice of yoga, we touch the essence of the divine. Shiva is known as a natural master of Dogs, to whom they willingly submit… symbolically, we can understand this to mean there is a way to master our own Dog, to invert it, so we can become, at least a little bit more God like. Returning to the opening quote of Friedrich Nietzsche; “We climb the mountain of Truth, and are followed by the dog named ego”, yet, we no longer confuse ourselves with him, for it is our soul, our deeper self, the spirit of the eternal, that is guiding us, ever onward and upward.
Ego and Life: Life’s journey is a dance of creation and dissolution, much like Shiva’s cosmic Tandava. Letting go of the ego’s desires allows us to flow with life’s natural rhythm.
Ego and File: Just as we organize our files on a computer, the ego seeks to categorize and label all experiences. Yet, true understanding comes when we release the need to file and categorize every aspect of our existence, because letting go allows the greater intelligence than the audible active intelligence of our mind, to guide us from its depths. The word File is an anagram of Life!
If we chop things up, deconstruct or even dissect them, we may create some new order out of them, but we may also kill that thing in the process, so it is important to Surrender to the Divine, not to surrender to the Ego, but to “rise above”, to “go deeper”, and find that Supreme Value for which we life, we refuse to become just another file, a “statistic”, by being an immovable object, when it comes to sticking to and fighting for our own, chosen, supreme value.’
Earth and Heart: Again, anagrams of one another, there is a great link between these two, which I believe, Rumi explains beautifully: “That which makes the rose smile and blossom also makes my heart grow and open”, We are all part of something so much greater than ourselves, yet the devilishly sly and sneaky ego sometimes declares, if we allow it to, that it is the only thing that matters, when it is clearly the other way around: the balance of all life is what gives our lives meaning.
In the dance of Shiva and the Asana practice, we find a path to transcendence—a journey from the limited Egoic self to a state of unity with the cosmos. Downward-Facing Dog (in which our head bows down lower than our heart) and Nataraja Pose (in which we must balance and bend backwards at the same time!) serve as bridges between the earthly and the divine, inviting us to let go, stretch, and (at least prepare to) dance in the cosmic rhythm of life. As we play with words, and even dance with them, or go out to celebrate whatever it is we have to celebrate, let’s try to remember that the truest dance is the one where the ego dissolves, and we find ourselves in the graceful embrace of the divine dance of existence.
I will leave you with these words: You are the mountain of truth which you are climbing, and you are the dance which you are joining in with, in the quest to remember your true nature, and the dog following you is the echo of your former self, your ego, which doesn’t really know what to do, to which you are a guide, and through which you are an example, whether a shining one, or a warning sign. The Dog Shiva dances with and sometimes upon, is, in different traditions, referred to as the demon “Avidya” which means the spirit of ignorance, or bestiality… Shiva conquers it through the power of truth, much like a Rosicrucian Mantra proclaims: Through the power of Truth I have conquered the Universe (and most importantly, myself).
